STAY WITH ME BY Ayọ̀bami Adebàyọ

 

 

 

 

STAY WITH ME by Ayọ̀bami Adebàyọ is a scintillating and un-put-down-able novel  published in 2017 but I just got to read few days ago. That will give you a sense of the huge number of writers in this world and it is not possible to read the works of all them. She writes with a cadence typical of a mature writer who has had prolong dalliance with books or experienced with this game of stringing ordinary words to convey extraordinary meanings.

Her novel raises such issues as barrenness, impotency, infidelity, love, sickle cell anemia, betrayal, politics, history and a colouring with folktales. There is a shift between first person narration, omniscient and third person narrative. It navigates between Yejide and Akin's perspective to give the reader a well rounded understanding of  their motives, actions and inactions.

The story begins with Yejide who we believe to be a single mother living in Jos and writing to her husband in Lagos. She is planning a trip to Ilesa for the burial of her  husband's late father. Her monologues takes us back to when she meets Akin her husband at the University of Ife now(Obafemi Awolowo University) during a movie night. Their relationship blossomed to marriage but they are beset with bareness. At first we are made to belief that Yejide is the barren one thereby 'sympathizing with the 'patience and reluctance of Akin in getting another wife. The author skillfully handled withholding details of event until much later. For example, the condition of Akin's impotency is revealed later. The death of Funmi is also withheld until much later. We can describe that as aposteriori a literary device of presenting effects before relatively their causes; a subversion of causes  and effects. This is done to whet and sustain the reader's curiosity to know what exactly will happen in the end. Akin's mother eventually finds a new wife her son, Funmi while appealing to Yejide to accept the decision of the family in good faith. Events take a new turn after Yejide visits a prayer mountain and returned home feeling she is pregnant while in actual fact she is suffering from pseudocyesis, a medical condition in which a woman experiences pregnancy symptoms. 

Dotun, Akin's younger brother comes into the picture. His advances to Yejide is made to seem like an obvious lustful sexual appetite while in actual fact is a planned decision between both brothers because as it turns out, Akin is suffering from impotent. The arrangement births Olamide who dies in infancy. The cause of her death is not revealed until when Sesan the second born, a boy is diagnosed of being a sickle cell patient. He dies afterward leaving Yejide devastated. 

Akin finds out later that Dotun, his  younger brother is still tied to the wrappers of his wife even after he tells him that he can no longer continue with the plan . His discovery causes him to nearly kill his brother out  of rage, jealousy and self pity.  Yejide gives birth to another daughter she named Rótìmí. All interest in mothering the new child seems to have died with the death of the earlier two children. She leaves Akin to attend Iya Bolu's younger brother's wedding in Bauchi and settles in Jos afterwards. When Akin telephones her about Rotimi crises during the political unrest trailing the annulment of the 1993 June election, all her erstwhile motherly tenderness returns but she refuses to leave for Ilesha for fear that she will be faced with the inevitable; Rotimi's death.  Her return to Ilesa is both a reunion and a new revelation;  her supposed dead daughter survives the initial crises and shows promise of living much longer. The story ends on a positive note because, Akin, Yejide and Rotimi  reunites confirming the title of the book.

The issue of barrenness especially in African society is viewed and taken seriously. A barren woman is no different from a witch, a man or a failed woman who has failed motherhood. Pressure is mounted on the wife by the husband's family while advising the man involved to impregnate another woman or outrightly bringing in another woman like Funmi to share the barren woman's husband. It is an age long belief that barren women can conceive if she allows her husband to impregnate another woman. Before a man is pronounced or labelled as impotent when a woman is perceived to be barren, the wife comes under severe verbal and attitudinal attacks. No one believe that Akin is the impotent one while all attention was directed at his wife. It was however clear to Funmi that the problem lies with Akin after a drinking spree during Olamide's naming ceremony. His attempt to cover Funmi's mouth causes her fall from the staircase which leads to her death.

The believability of the story and its  similitude to life is driven home by the actual mention of real places, events and occurrences. For example the beginning of the story explores the crisis in the University of Ife, the students riots, the overthrow of Mohammadu Buhari government in 1984.  Prior to that, the death of Dele Giwa by a letter bomb believed to have been sent from the commander in Chief  Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida, the 19193 election, the annulment and the protests leading to crises.

Love is used as a tool to achieve certain selfish ends in this novel. Could we say Akin hides his true sexual state out of love for his wife but finds it easier to have his younger brother sleep with his wife? Yejide refuses to leave him at first when she realizes that her husband uses her as a lamb for slaughter. Even when she is separated from him, she still thinks about him. Also, her love for Rótìmí resurfaces when she learns of her crises. She would rather not return to Ilesa to prevent witnessing her death.

The pain that sickle cell patients undergo and the their parents is another topic is under study in the novel. It is torture for a woman to bury her children one after the other to the deadly blood cell disorder. While not denying the concept of Abiku, the writer elevates medicine above the Nigerian superstition when Akin's mother describes the dead children as belonging to the spirit world of Abiku that is born to die again in repeated circles.  That is why she advised that Olamide be mutilated and beaten with cane so that the imprint of the effect will be seen on her should she decide to come back. Unknown to Akin's mother, Dotun is the carrier of the red blood disorder.

The writer leaves the reader in no doubt that she is a student of African folklore in the way she adopted  popular folktales like Olurunmbi who reneges on her promise to give back her first child to the Iroko tree that helped her locate her missing parents. It also hints on the importance of family. The most affected are who have lost either or both parents. It is part of Yejide's loneliness that made her sit by the door of her stepmothers for the stories they told.

Despite being a great  read for anyone who loves reading, there are loose ends in the novel. For instance, Yejide still goes about praying at  mountains top for the opening of her womb while there is no mention of  sexual intercourse between both Akin and herself. That does not really add up.  Another case in point is the silence with which Funmi's family accepted her death without demanding some form of explanations about the cause of her death. In a normal real life setting that the novel tries to portray, people don't accept the death of their loved ones without asking questions. This, the writer fails to do.

Above all, the writer has given to the reader the fact that love will always triumph over every obstacle that life brings.

Thank you again for coming today. Let us make it a date next time. 

I am Yours Truly, 

Julius Topohozin